One of the best pieces of wedding advice we got was to absolutely, positively, take a honeymoon right after the wedding, even if it was just a weekend at a nearby hotel.
Like so many couples, we *had* considered not taking a honeymoon, because the expense of the wedding frequently sent us into a money panic, and a honeymoon seemed just *so* indulgent. Well, let me tell you, we did fly to Aruba after the wedding for an amazing 8 days of tropical heaven, and it was the best money we ever spent.
After 9 months of intense, and often stressful, wedding planning and then the over-the-top weekend of the actual ceremony, we were desperate for time to just chill and reconnect with ourselves and each other. We arrived in Aruba exhausted, with our hearts full of love and appreciation, and did I mention, exhausted. We were ready to park our pre-tanned bodies on a couple of beachside lounge chairs and raise the cocktail flag.
The honeymoon gave us a big dose of lusted-after downtime and pampering. We were able to indulge in a completely empty to-do list and remember what it felt like to simply enjoy each other’s company. Bit by bit, we relived the wedding and all the love and blessings that were showered on us in that short timeframe. We were also surrounded by other newlywed couples, as it turns out that Aruba is a popular honeymoon destination – both straight and queer. It gave us the time and emotional space to let all of the wedding sink in, and we could experience each other as spouses and start to get a feel for what that *really* meant, from the other side of the marriage ceremony.
It was hard enough to return to ‘normal’ life (aka the rat race) after the wedding, taking the honeymoon to shift, relax, pamper, indulge, debrief, renew, and love on each other, made that transition tolerable. And, it gave us time to fully take in the magnificence of the wedding and our marriage vows and, did I mention, each other. We dropped in, relaxed deeply, and swam in our ocean of love. If there was only one piece of wedding advice I could give, it would be TAKE A HONEYMOON!
Include the honeymoon expense, at the outset, in your overall wedding budget. You might also consider using a honeymoon registry . We were initially reluctant about this but as it turned out, many of our friends and family really enjoyed giving us experiences rather than things. We were very happy with TravelersJoy.com, and ended up with some amazing treats — for example sunset sailing, dinner on the beach, and horseback riding.
And one final piece of honeymoon advice — don’t overbook yourself or plan a busy sightseeing vacation. Originally, Drake was worried that 8 days of ocean-front chillaxing, with a little snorkeling, sailing, jet skiing, shopping, and dining thrown in for amusement, would just be too boring. Turns out all that downtime was just what the doctor ordered. One friend overbooked their honeymoon going from city to city and in the end they felt it was all just too much. They wished they had planted themselves somewhere and relaxed more. Action-packed vacations are fine, just not for your honeymoon. Trust us. You want to languish in each other on this trip.
Enjoy your queer honeymoon — you deserve it!
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